Many of us men are so busy and distracted that we rarely stop to appreciate the simple things in life. In this article, we’ll talk about how being mindful can help you become a better man.
This is Part 1 of a two-part series.
KEY POINTS
- The benefits of mindfulness are many, yet most men ignore the practice.
- Here’s why men should practice mindfulness and how you can use it to benefit your life in all areas.
What Does ‘Mindful’ Even Mean?
As a man, you know that we are often told to “be mindful.” But how exactly do we practice this? And what is it really all about? Mindfulness has become one of the buzzwords of the 21st century. There are so many articles about the benefits of mindfulness, with many claiming it to be the answer to almost everything. But what is mindfulness, and why should we practice it? Let’s find out.
A growing amount of research shows that mindfulness can positively affect all areas of our lives. This includes relationships with other people, productivity at work, and health and happiness.
Mindfulness is the practice of being aware of what’s going on in the present moment; it’s a state of being fully engaged in whatever you’re doing. This is a fantastic skill for men to learn—and one that can have tremendous benefits for their relationships, their careers, and their health.
Why Men Should Practice Mindfulness
Research has shown that men are more likely than women to suffer from stress-related disorders such as depression and anxiety. In fact, studies show that rates of male depression are skyrocketing. Part of this is that men are just as likely as women to experience “burnout” from stress.
However, research has also shown that men are less likely than women to seek help for these problems. They’re even less likely to admit to having trouble and are much less likely to take time off work to get the help they need.
Men are not more stressed than women. It’s just that we tend to hide our feelings and emotions better. That is how self-doubt and depression start to creep upon us. When we become stressed, we get angry, irritable, and impatient. When we become depressed, we feel sad, anxious, and helpless. When we have stress-related conditions such as depression, we can be very critical of ourselves and others. We’re not able to put things into proper perspective. We can’t see any silver lining in our situations. We think that everything we face is potentially a disaster. Sound familiar?
Let me repeat it, men are not more stressed than women. We’re just less likely to show our feelings and emotions. This is one of the key reasons why men should practice mindfulness.
A man should learn to be mindful. Mindfulness is the awareness of what is happening in the present moment without judgment. It is being fully aware of what is going on around you. As a matter of fact, when you are mindful, you will always notice something good in every situation. You’ll see the good in every person you come in contact with; you’ll see the good in every situation that comes across your path.
Mindfulness is the ultimate way for a man to make others feel special, especially for a romantic partner. We can be more mindful about their needs and wants in life, as well as our own.
We often forget to be grateful for the small moments in life when they happen around us. I find myself taking my own sour grapes and being thankful that someone has given me a chance. Even if what they lack physically makes them look less than perfect on paper- because honestly, nothing compares with experience gained through love.
When you learn to be more mindful, it can benefit you in many ways. You’ll have a better perspective on your life. You’ll have more patience for yourself and others. You’ll be able to see the humor in things instead of taking things so seriously. You’ll have more compassion for yourself and others. These are just a few of the benefits of being more mindful. You’ll see many other benefits as you grow in your practice.
The first step that a man should take towards becoming more mindful is to learn how to stop and smell the roses. You should begin to notice the positive aspects of life instead. Avoid getting caught up in the never-ending stream of details that drain your energy and keep you from living in the moment.
This doesn’t mean you ignore unpleasant things. Instead, you pay attention to how you react to these things. You then actually choose how to respond. Unpleasant things no longer hijack your entire day. You’ll no longer get caught up in the emotion of a situation. Instead, you’ll focus on the facts, what’s needed to resolve the problem, and how to move on.
One thing I do is the “Three Second Rule.” It’s a simple little trick that will help you slow down and pay attention to what’s essential. It works like a charm. All you have to do is say… “No! Don’t do anything significant for at least three seconds. Stop and smell the roses. Take some time out for yourself. Don’t get caught up in the rat race. Stop and smell the roses.”
“Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.” – Bueller….Bueller…Bueller…
Why Men Find Practicing Mindfulness Challenging
I’ve found many reasons why men are less likely to practice mindfulness. One of the main reasons is that men are very action-oriented. We like to solve problems by taking action. A misconception about mindfulness is that it is a passive activity. The reality is, it’s actually an active process. Cultivating awareness is what is allows us to turn our intention into action. Turning intention into action is another key reason why men should practice mindfulness.
Another reason is that men often have difficulty focusing on one thing for an extended period. If you ask me to focus on something for a long time, I will start thinking about something else. Often anything besides what it is I’m intending to focus on. This is especially true for me with my ADD.
It can seem almost impossible for us to stop ourselves from multi-tasking. That’s why we can get very irritated when we’re asked to focus on one thing for an extended time. Yet, it is vital to focus on one thing for an extended time. It is the key to having a more tranquil mind.
When you learn to focus on one thing for an extended period, you’ll be able to accomplish much more in every area of your life. You will be able to find solutions to problems more efficiently. You will be able to make wiser decisions. You will be able to be more productive. All of this will improve your quality of life.
The key here is accepting the fact that your mind wanders. That’s what it does naturally. Don’t fight it or get frustrated by it. Just note it, be aware of it. Think of your thoughts as boats floating down a river, and you sitting on the bank just watching. The key is not to jump onto one of the boats and go for a ride. Just watch them as they pass.
Get the free guide Quiet Confidence: A Men’s Guide to Living a Free, Authentic, Joyful, Centered, & Purposeful Life”
This workbook will provide you with an introduction to mindfulness as a foundation for living a more deliberate, authentic, purposeful life of peace, freedom, health, and fulfillment.
You’ll also signup for the newsletter to get valuable content right in your inbox.
Your privacy is respected. Data will never be sold or shared. Unsubscribe at any time.
Another challenge that men have is detaching themselves from their feelings and emotions. Being able to separate oneself from one’s emotions and feelings is vital in achieving mindfulness. Without detachment from our emotional state of affairs, we won’t have much success when thinking clearly or making good decisions with the way our mind works. We’re socialized at an early age into becoming action-oriented over introspective beings who don’t show our true selves on display.
But more so than just being aware of what’s going on around us (which every person should strive towards), we need to be emotionally aware. This means that even if a man doesn’t show his feelings on the surface, he still has to access them internally and process them appropriately to move forward in his life. Suppose you don’t know how to emotionally process your feelings and detach yourself from them. In that case, it affects your ability to make good decisions. It also affects your ability to get along with other people, especially women. We often don’t know how to emotionally process our feelings. We can lash out in anger or frustration, making us appear threatening to women and less approachable to men.
Men are often discouraged from expressing their emotions. Still, I believe it’s one of the most important things that men can improve themselves. It might not seem easy at first – and even if you’re not naturally emotional, practicing will still take some effort, but in many ways. This activity goes hand in hand with improving self-worth, so keep going!
The Benefits of Mindfulness
The art of mindfulness is a radical departure from the mental patterns that most people live their lives by. We tend to lose touch with reality when living in reaction and only think about what has happened or will happen. We tend to not pay attention while actually experiencing life as it is happening right now.
The benefits include alertness we may have otherwise lost. Heightened emotions due to being more present rather than constantly dwelling on negative past experiences – which also helps us connect again. More clarity because there isn’t so much outside noise distracts our minds. We experience these precious moments spent doing nothing other than observing how things really are.
Being mindful is simple but not easy; it is difficult to break old mental habits. However, if you practice being aware regularly, the benefits will more than pay for your efforts. You’ll find yourself more content, peaceful, focused, and creative. You’ll start to be a better listener, more patient, more productive, a more satisfying lover, a better parent, and a person who experiences fewer stress-induced illnesses. All of this adds up to a far better quality of life. It is not easy to give up the comforts of the modern world and its endless distractions. But, if you make a sincere effort to cultivate the practice of mindfulness, I can almost guarantee that you will find it worth the discomfort.
The practice of mindfulness is easy to learn. In fact, anyone can learn it. All you have to do is pay attention to what is happening right now instead of what happened yesterday or what will happen tomorrow. It is straightforward but, it takes practice. Once you learn the basics, you will notice how often you are caught up in the past and the future. Instead, you will learn to live in the present. It’s a radical departure from the way you have always lived your life.
You will learn to consciously choose every thought that passes through your mind. This skill will serve you for the rest of your life. It will help you to be a happier, more fulfilled person. You’ll find you will start to have a more positive outlook on life. It will help you enjoy your life more and not be so stressed out about everything. You’ll be able to let go of a lot of your worries. You’ll experience more joy and less pain.
You’ll have more energy and feel less drained. You’ll have a more robust immune system. And, as a by-product of all this, you will have a lower level of stress. If you want to lose weight, being more mindful will help you do that. When you are aware of what you are eating, you will eat less. It’s the law of the jungle.
Here are my top ten reasons why being more mindful has dramatically enhanced the quality of my life:
1. It makes me more creative.
2. It lowers my stress levels.
3. It gives me better focus.
4. It has improved my relationships.
5. It’s made me a better listener.
6. It gives me better time management skills.
7. It’s made me a better lover. (Seriously, apply it to all aspects of your life!)
8. It has helped me with my weight loss.
9. It increases my productivity.
10. It has made me be a better parent.
The benefits of mindfulness are many, and this list will give you a few to get you started. First off, learning to pay attention to the present moment lessens your stress levels and makes it much more likely to experience peace and tranquility. When you know to let go of the past and not worry about the future, you open yourself up to having more fun, more energy, and a higher sense of well-being. And finally, one of the biggies is that you become a far better problem solver when you practice mindfulness. It lessens your reactivity and increases your capacity to objectively evaluate your options and make the best decision available.
In Part 2 of this article, we’ll discuss what you should be aware of when practicing mindful living, how mindfulness can help with business and personal success, and how to begin practicing mindfulness.
“Good questions outrank easy answers.” – Paul A. Samuelson (American economist)
- How could mindfulness help you?
- What benefits of being mindful resonate most?
- What are your biggest challenges to being mindful?
Want more? Get the free guide “Quiet Confidence: A Men’s Guide to Living a Free, Authentic, Joyful, Centered, & Purposeful Life“
This workbook will introduce mindfulness as a foundation for living a more deliberate, authentic, purposeful life of peace, freedom, health, and fulfillment.
