Understanding Cognitive Empathy And How It Can Improve Your Understanding Of Others

Dec 2, 2021 | Relationships

Do you want to be a better person? A better man?

Empathy is the ability to share someone else’s feelings, emotions, or thoughts. It is having an understanding and compassion for another person. Cognitive empathy is when we empathize with another without feeling the same thing. This means that we can consider other people’s opinions and perspectives. This, in turn, gives us a better understanding of their emotions.

You don’t have to feel what others do to empathize with them, but it does help if you’re willing! This article will explore cognitive empathy and its relation to our own lives. How we may better understand ourselves and those around us.

Understanding Cognitive Empathy And How It Can Improve Your Understanding Of Others | Understanding Cognitive Empathy And How It Can Improve Your Understanding Of Others

KEY POINTS

  • This article will explore cognitive empathy and its relation to our own lives.
  • There are three types of empath: cognitive (the mind), emotional(sensation), and affective (perspective) empathy.
  • Cognitive empathy is understanding things within the context of someone else’s perspective.

What Are the 3 Types of Empathy? 

We hear a lot about empathy nowadays. This is because it is a valuable skill that can help us to better understand other people. It is advantageous when it comes to difficult conversations or negotiations. We can put ourselves in someone else’s position and see things from their perspective. This helps us to build better relationships with the people around us.

While empathy is essential in personal relationships, it’s also necessary for the workplace. In fact, we hear a lot about empathy in the workplace. 

We understand how other people feel because we have connected with them emotionally. It’s about understanding another person’s beliefs and taking on their perspective. And to see things from their angle. For example, your friend is going through a tough time at work, and you can tell that he feels stressed out. This means that empathy is vital in helping your friend reduce his stress levels.

Empathy is a complicated and vital concept. Psychologists Daniel Goleman and Paul Ekman found there are three components of empathy. These are cognitive (the mind), emotional(sensation), and affective (perspective) empathy.

Cognitive empathy is when you can understand how someone else feels without feeling the same thing yourself. It also includes taking on another person’s belief system to understand them better. It’s understanding things within the context of someone else’s perspective, acknowledging their perspective. Not taking on that perspective and seeing things through it.

So, cognitive empathy is understanding things within the context of someone else’s perspective. Emotional empathy is feeling what they’re feeling without actually being in their position. Emotional empathy is when you feel the same thing as the other person. This means that you’re having the same reaction or similar emotions to another person. But you aren’t in their shoes. 

Affective empathy is when you take on another person’s perspective. This means that you can see things from their point of view, and you are also willing to help them if they need it. 

What is Cognitive Empathy?

Empathy has a highly complex history behind it. Cognitive empathy can be distinguished from the other types of empathy. 

Cognitive empathy is when you can understand other people’s beliefs or perspectives. This only works if you show genuine interest and respect for them as a person. It’s impossible to connect with someone if they feel like you’re judging them or that you don’t care.

Paul Ekman defines cognitive empathy as the mental capacity to recognize emotions in others. When one willingly helps someone else in need, this is cognitive empathy. People who do this are often described as compassionate people. These are people with high cognitive empathy.

While emotional empathy means putting yourself in their shoes. This is what generally comes to mind when people think empathy. Cognitive empathy doesn’t do this. This is because cognitively, you are thinking about how they feel. 

This cognitive empathy is different from cognitive perspective theory (aka Theory of Mind). Cognitive empathy is understanding someone’s emotions. Whereas cognitive perspective is getting inside their head. Here you are taking on their belief system. This mental component allows you to understand other people’s feelings. This can help you predict what they’re feeling or thinking before they even say it.

Being cognitively empathetic is often the same as having compassion. This is understanding someone else’s pain or problems without fixing them. In cognitive empathy, you can see someone else’s position but not feel the same thing they are. This also includes understanding stuff within the context of someone else’s perspective. And being willing to help them if they need it.

When you put yourself in someone else’s shoes and feel what they’re feeling, you’re expressing emotional empathy. You express cognitive empathy when you understand how someone else feels without feeling the same thing. 

There is no right or wrong way to cognitively empathize. It can be challenging to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Research on cognitive empathy shows that men have a much harder time showing this than women.

pexels william fortunato 6140711 | Understanding Cognitive Empathy And How It Can Improve Your Understanding Of Others
Photo by William Fortunato from Pexels

What is an Example of Cognitive Empathy?

Being cognitively empathetic means that you consider the opinions and perspectives of others. And this is how you can better understand their emotions. All cognitive empathy is concerned with is understanding how someone else feels. And not feeling the same thing or prescribing solutions to feelings.

People with cognitive empathy are often very diplomatic and can handle conflict well. This is because it allows you to anticipate how another person will react. Which, of course, provides for better conflict resolution. People with high cognitive empathy are good listeners and are usually empathetic listeners. They seek to understand others’ perspectives by entering their mental world. They are thinking about how something looks from another person’s point of view. 

People with cognitive empathy can take on a mental perspective when they need to. But this doesn’t mean that they feel the same way as the other person is feeling. They can distance themselves emotionally from their cognitive empathy partners. This allows them to avoid getting overloaded by someone else’s feelings or problems. 

Cognitive empathy is imagining the other person’s feelings and what they’re thinking. For instance, with cognitive empathy, you say, “I realize that your mom died, and I’m really sorry.” Rather than “I’m so sorry about your mom.” 

What you are saying is, “I acknowledge that a person has died. That the person was your mother, that you have a strong bond with your mother and she was an important person to you. For that loss, I am sorry.”

“I’m so sorry about your mom,” is injecting your feeling of their emotions. Even though you’re not saying that you are acting and speaking from a place of emotional empathy.

People who cognitively empathize do not share the same perspective on a situation. In fact, cognitive empathy is more successful when you have differing opinions. This is because you can understand their perspective without bias. You’re not dismissive of their feelings and beliefs.

How Cognitive Empathy is Different from Emotional Empathy

Cognitive empathy is the ability to think like someone else, or in this case – see their pain. While emotional empathy means putting yourself into somebody’s shoes and feeling their pain. Cognitive empathy cannot do it because you think about how they feel. You are not trying to understand them on an intellectual level. You are using your own personal experiences as reference points for understanding them. To know where they’re coming from.

Emotional empathy takes place within the brain’s limbic system. This is the system responsible for processing emotions. But cognitive empathy actually takes place in the cognitive part of the brain. This is why cognitive empathy is better for coming up with more thoughtful responses. So cognitive empathy can help control emotional reactions in an emotionally charged situation.

Cognitive empathy centers on the mental capacity to recognize emotions in others. While emotional empathy is when you consider other people’s opinions and perspectives. You better understand their feelings.

The significant difference between cognitive empathy and emotional empathy is awareness of emotions. Cognitive empathy is awareness of your feelings. With emotional empathy, you have an understanding of other people’s emotions. It is cognitive empathy to imagine how other people feel and what they might be thinking. Feeling what they are feeling, taking on their emotions, is emotional empathy.

How Cognitive Empathy is Different from Affective Empathy

Affective empathy involves taking on another person’s perspective and feeling what they feel. Affective empathy is the kind of empathy that allows people to connect emotionally.

Affective empathy is when people can feel other people’s emotions. They can do this even if they aren’t thinking about it. People with affective empathy may get sick or uncomfortable when they see others in pain. They can be feeling the same physical symptoms as those people.

Affective empathy is different from cognitive empathy. In that, you are taking on the person’s perspective. You are feeling what they feel. You are actually putting yourself in their position. This is different from cognitive empathy, where you acknowledge and understand their feelings. And do it from your perspective in a detached way without emotion.

Although cognitive empathy is essential, affective empathy can be beneficial. Especially when it comes to showing your support for someone else and their feelings.

Affective empathy shows an understanding of how other people feel. When you consider other people’s opinions and perspectives, you better understand their emotions. 

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How Cognitive Empathy is Different from Sympathy

Empathy is often misunderstood as being synonymous with pity or sympathy. 

The difference is that cognitive empathy is when you think about other people’s feelings, you try not to be emotional.

Sympathy is feeling bad for someone who has problems, not thinking about them.

How Do You Develop Cognitive Empathy?

While cognitive empathy is a great skill, it isn’t always easy to master. Sometimes cognitive empathy is easier said than done. You have to understand how a person feels without being dismissive of their feelings.

Allow yourself to leave your comfort zone and experience new things. Especially if they make you uncomfortable. The best way to truly understand a situation from someone else’s perspective is by sharing it firsthand with that person. This may include spending time socializing or volunteering together. 

Listen openly and don’t jump in with an answer before understanding where the other person is coming from. Not doing this shows that you are actually listening. You are trying to work with their feelings rather than against them.

1) Empathy is the capability to share someone else’s feelings, emotions, or thoughts. 

2) To be empathetic means you can consider other people’s opinions and perspectives to better understand their emotions. 

3) Cognitive empathy is when you can see someone else’s position without feeling the same thing.

4) It also includes taking on another person’s belief system to understand them better. 

People who cognitively empathize understand other people’s perspectives, thoughts, and feelings more clearly. Which means they can interact more effectively with others.

Finding Balance

Cognitive empathy is often considered under-emotional.

It involves less feeling and more logical analysis. Some people perceive it as an unsympathetic response by those in distress.

Emotional empathy, by contrast, is over-emotional.

Too much emotion or feeling can be unhelpful. Feeling strong emotions, especially distress, takes us back to childhood. More or less, by definition, that makes us less able to cope. And certainly less able to think and apply reason to the situation. It’s tough to help anyone else if you are overcome by your own emotions.

We find the right balance between logic and emotion in exercising compassionate empathy.

We feel another person’s pain as if it was happening to us. We can then express the appropriate amount of sympathy.

At the same time, we can also control our own emotions and apply reason to the situation.

This means that we can make better decisions. And we can provide appropriate support to them when and where necessary.

Key Takeaway

You might think that cognitive empathy has nothing to do with why you’re a good person. But this couldn’t be any further from the truth. Why? Because cognitive empathy is what we use to make moral decisions. 

As human beings, we are complex cognitively, emotionally, and affectively empathetic creatures. We can understand others’ perspectives and actions and feel them and take on them as our own. 

With cognitive empathy, you will take on other people’s beliefs and opinions. You will understand their perspectives more clearly. This way, no matter how different you or other people are, you will be able to see eye to eye. You’ll never have an issue with not understanding other people’s points of view again! 

“Good questions outrank easy answers.” – Paul A. Samuelson (American economist)

  • Does being empathetic feel vulnerable to you?
  • Do you find it difficult to understand the different perspectives of other people in general, or have conflicts with tensions stemming from your inability to empathize with others?
  • Is this because of a gender role difference unto yourself or society as a whole- if so, how are these differences categorized and what makes them any different than stereotypes of “manliness”?

Want more? Get the free guide Quiet Confidence: A Men’s Guide to Living a Free, Authentic, Joyful, Centered, & Purposeful Life

This workbook will introduce mindfulness as a foundation for living a more deliberate, authentic, purposeful life of peace, freedom, health, and fulfillment.

About Me

 

I’m Bryan Benardino, a transformative coach specializing in empowering high-achieving professionals in midlife transitions and are unsatisfied with their relationships.

I help men break free from emotional barriers, cultivate authentic expression, and create fulfilling relationships.

Together, we’ll unleash your true masculine purpose, power, and passion, guiding you from a state of “Stuck, Struggling Mid-Life Mediocrity” to becoming a “Quietly Confident Embodied Masculine Man.”

Experience a deliberate, authentic, purposeful life filled with peace, freedom, ease, and fulfillment.

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